Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Rewind. Restart. Play.
Hi guys, girls.
After 9 months in hibernation (yeah my baby. Heh heh hur hur buhhh...) I decided to start this blog again. I was lazy to do so earlier because of my masterplan for my own domain site, which would decidedly be more Web 2.0, but since that seems to have sunk a little further back down the horizon, I figured I might as well make some use of this space.
These few months I must say have been terrible for me. After the spiritual high described in the earlier posts of this blog died down, as all good things do, my life went back to crappy status, and then fell even lower than before. I cried, yelled, cursed, shouted at God at my computer and at Satan, and if anything worked it was only awfully temporal.
I keep bemoaning my fate to my brothers and sisters in Christ. And each time I keep realising hey, I haven't been reading my Bible. Well that's it isn't it?
No it isn't. It's so hard to keep up the habit of listening to sermon recordings, let alone conduct a full quiet time routine everyday.
I told my friends that I couldn't feel God in my heart, and that His perceived absence was making a loud sickening echo in my heart. Today our Father prove Himself present and watching when a brother and a sister told me the exact same thing.
Quiet time. Everyday.
Many doubts have assailed me over these months, ranging from easily dismissable doubts, to cold nagging ones, to downright blasphemous ones. Doubts are still hitting me like the wind whether I'll really be able to start and keep a habit of worship/sermon listening, prayer and Bible reading everyday. But I will choose to dismiss that in the supreme name of my Savior, my Lord Jesus Christ. After this I will be studying a chapter or two of Ecclesiastes, followed by some prayer. I ask you to stand in faith with me that through the overwhelming grace of our Lord, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Amen.
After 9 months in hibernation (yeah my baby. Heh heh hur hur buhhh...) I decided to start this blog again. I was lazy to do so earlier because of my masterplan for my own domain site, which would decidedly be more Web 2.0, but since that seems to have sunk a little further back down the horizon, I figured I might as well make some use of this space.
These few months I must say have been terrible for me. After the spiritual high described in the earlier posts of this blog died down, as all good things do, my life went back to crappy status, and then fell even lower than before. I cried, yelled, cursed, shouted at God at my computer and at Satan, and if anything worked it was only awfully temporal.
I keep bemoaning my fate to my brothers and sisters in Christ. And each time I keep realising hey, I haven't been reading my Bible. Well that's it isn't it?
No it isn't. It's so hard to keep up the habit of listening to sermon recordings, let alone conduct a full quiet time routine everyday.
I told my friends that I couldn't feel God in my heart, and that His perceived absence was making a loud sickening echo in my heart. Today our Father prove Himself present and watching when a brother and a sister told me the exact same thing.
Quiet time. Everyday.
Many doubts have assailed me over these months, ranging from easily dismissable doubts, to cold nagging ones, to downright blasphemous ones. Doubts are still hitting me like the wind whether I'll really be able to start and keep a habit of worship/sermon listening, prayer and Bible reading everyday. But I will choose to dismiss that in the supreme name of my Savior, my Lord Jesus Christ. After this I will be studying a chapter or two of Ecclesiastes, followed by some prayer. I ask you to stand in faith with me that through the overwhelming grace of our Lord, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Amen.
posted by Renhao : 12:39 AM Permalink
