Sunday, January 07, 2007

Whiter Than Snow

Guess it takes time, to realise how blessed I am, to be in New Creation Church.

I went to the church camp expecting nothing, giving God moving space to work in me. I came out of the camp shouting and proclaiming that I would witness to everyone under the sound of my voice. Since then I've fallen short of the glory of the Lord countless times... daily...

For lack of a more apt description, I felt shitty to keep sinning, and sinning, and sinning. Praying for wisdom and strength to overcome my sins, sin again. Pray for a spirit of determination, sin again. Here's the best part - sin WHILE listening to a sermon.

No doubt I would have fallen into depression. But just moments before I had heard Pastor Prince say, 'You can feel sad, but not for long. Something is uplifting you.' Similarly, I find I cannot feel put out for long when I'm always being reminded of no condemnation (Romans 8). The Spirit is always silently encouraging me, and I can feel that dreaded swimming feeling in my heart that tells that I'm not at ease, but behind that, I feel a deep sense of peace that says, 'Beloved, be of good cheer, for I am with you always.' You know sometimes we must learn to ignore our flesh. In fact, more than just sometimes. Just because I don't feel it, it doesn't mean that I am not benefitting spiritually from the message I am listening to. It doesn't mean that I am not ministered to. On the contrary, if I were to focus on my lack of feelings, I would then constrict the flow of blessings and benefits freely given by the Lord.

I've wondered why Hillsongs United chose to title their CD Look To You, when it's the third track in the album. I guess our walk with the Father is just that - looking to Jesus and no one else. As Pastor Prince said, it's not What Would Jesus Do?, it's Watch What Jesus Does. Our flesh will always end us up in failure; the Lord is Jehovah Jireh, THE Provider.

Now, I've been just flowing in the Lord, which probably explains my jumping of topics here and there (or for those who listen to them, between sermon examples). So I will trust that through my writing the Lord will speak to whoever is reading this. Remember, you have been led to this blog and this post by the Lord.

God bless.

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