Sunday, October 15, 2006

Quiet Time

Yesterday I had the most amazing Quiet Time ever.

Campus itself filled me with a huge sense of shalom. For these past weeks I have been alternating between just ok, and bouts of negativity and slight depression. And I was right when I thought to myself, Campus is what I need to rejuvenate my love for God, my fire for Him. Oh and Ryan came too! And witnessed the glory of Lam Baoyan. Haha~

Not that that was worth anything as far as fire was concerned, although I enjoyed myself immensely...

All I saw, on the train, walking back, preparing for sleep, was just God, Jesus, Father, the Holy Spirit. Even now as I write, when I close my eyes I can see the invisible glory of God. Yes it's ok to read again until you get it.

When I settled to do my QT, here was my plan:

15min: tongues, + abit of silence to hear God, if He has anything to say (He did lor)
15min: Worship
15min: Prayer in English + abit more silence till I'm satisfied/fall asleep.

Almost everytime I struggled to keep the flow of tongues running. I wouldn't break the flow, but it was still an effort to keep it going without lapsing into distractions. This time it came so freely, and to an extent, so articulately, not like the usual mmbldibmboldulmdhv I speed through. And when it felt right I stopped. Stopped and rested peacefully in silence. I remember asking God what is it You wish to tell me o Lord. And this He said.

'I love you Renhao. More than anything in this world. I want you to know that.'

Wow. Wow wow wow. Don't you feel extra extra special when the very Being who created the land you reside on, the flowers you enjoy, the air you breathe, declares His unfailing everlasting love for you? So thank you God, I said, and when I felt that He'd said all He wanted (it's more than enough already for me) I went on to listening to worship songs. I said 15min right? Turn out half an hour lor.

As I turned my Zen off to proceed to the English Prayer part, I immediately thanked God for the fire within me, and I asked that Lord, let this feeling, this desire, never leave me. Let me feel so hot every day, every night, for You. And on to other things, but it was quite some time before I realised just how heavy the presence of God was in my room. It was very very saturating, as if He'd put as much of his presence as He could have into the room. It was pressing on me from all sides, from everywhere, and yet I felt no oppression, just calm and peace and love. And you know, not to boast, but I started saying and praying things that sounded so powerful to me, so... whoa, you know?

Brothers and sisters in Chirst have shared about these things with me, how they cry with joy in His presence, how they cannot stand but kneel in His awesome glory, and I always go 'wow', 'Praise God', 'Is that so!'. But let me tell you even as I recount this experience to you, that you are feeling NOTHING of it until it actually comes upon you, like it did on me. And I'll tell you this too. It will totally leave you wanting more. You will never want to stop. Such is the power of the experience.

I don't know who will read this. But you who are doing so, if you haven't already had such an experience, this prayer is for you. That when you truly believe for such an experience, just as long as you do, it won't be long before the Holy Spirit comes knocking for a cuppa with you. And when He does, you just take your time to chat with Him. Just take your own, sweet, time.

God bless.

-I have to learn to capitalize without having to run through the post a second time-

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