Thursday, October 05, 2006

Calling to Jesus

Whether I like it or not, it seems that feelings very easily take control of me. Today for reasons that are better left undisclosed, I was drowning in negative thoughts... plenty of why's floating about in my head. Following the advice of my royal advisor I was trying to 1) dismiss those thoguhts and 2) not give off the depressing aura I seem to be gifted at emanating.

This has happened countless times to me before, and I usually wait till it goes away. Or if I'm lucky my friend would ask me what was wrong and my God I would spill every species of beans you could possibly think of. Wait!, you say. You're a Christian what the hell. Can't you pray?

Sure I can. I can even give you a good fright by seizing your head in my hands and firing off in tongues at the top of my voice, commanding the demon latching itself to your neck to be gone while hopping on one foot.

It doesn't work for me. You may wonder what sort of Christian I am, when I can't do something simple as clearing negative thoughts with prayer. I tell you, I can go on in tongues for two eternities, at the end I will just sigh and fall back into my sad sad thoughts again.

Today I gave up trying to dispel my thoughts, sighing and whispering 'Jesus'.


Suddenly I remembered when Sandra told me about her friend whose knees promptly gave way when she saw a demon. Sandra was there, with a few other friends, and no one else saw it. But her friend did, and she was sitting on the floor, nearly sobbing. One of the others, not knowing what else to do, told her to say Jesus' name. Just keep saying it. Jesus. Jesus.


The demon left.

I closed my eyes and composed my mind as best as I could, letting my thoughts, like dust, settle. And then I began.

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.

Like a tide receding my thoughts left me one be one, the depression in my heart lifting like morning mist evaporating in the heat of the glorious Sun. And as light overcame darkness inside, I cemented it by putting a slow, careful prayer, in between muttering Jesus Jesus, to grant me shalom peace.

There was no need for joy to overwhelm me. There was no need to smile. But as I stepped off the train to what turned out to be a wonderful day, smooth as it could be, I felt like I was wearing an invisible smile beneath my expressionless mask, the smile a son usually wears after hooking his last finger with his Father's.

Brothers and sisters, when you are in a loss, when the world fails you, your best Friend is here for you. There is nothing wrong with tongues, but next time you find yourself in such a situation, try calling out to Jesus. He is with you always, even unto the end of the world (Matt 28:20). So call out to Him, and feel His love and peace flow through you, and wash all your worries and troubles away.

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